Last weekend I attended a ladies retreat at Camas Meadows Bible Camp. The theme was "Stepping OUT of the Box." It was about how at various points in our lives we find ourselves facing situations that are out of our control or out of our comfort zone. During those times we "wrestle" with God. We go into our "closet" or "box" and voice our questions, concerns, and/or doubts to God. The speaker was a pastor's wife from Eugene, Oregon named Mary Cross. She shared about her own box moments as a pastor's wife which really hit home to me.
Right now we are going through some moments that sent me INTO my box yesterday. I guess you could start with a month ago when we realized our renter was not going to pay rent and we were going to have to dip into our summer reserve to cover the mortage that month. Last week we loaned out Todd's car to some friends and got a report back that the car was making lots of noises and they were scared to drive it. After coming home from the retreat I was informed that the engine is gone and needs to be replaced. (My children cheerfully informed me in this bleak moment that someone had a wreck in the canyon and totalled their car but their engine is a perfect match for ours. Bad for them, good for us.)
Now for yesterday. It started off with me finally getting the bill for the well back at our NC home - the one that our renter said was no good but the techinician said was fine. Well, his assessment that our well is in working order took almost all of our security deposit that we were expecting back. But that was just the start of me finally climbing into the box. Up to this point I have been ok. I have been at peace that God is in control, but my knees were starting to get a little shaky. The final blow was yesterday when the kids and I took the van into Wenatchee. Bonnie's glasses were in and we went to pick them up. I figured while we were in town I would get the oil changed on the van. Todd usually does these things for me, but he has not had any time so I thought this would help him out. The techinician at the quick oil change was quite alarmed at the status of my rig. He saw right off the bat that something was leaking and once he opened up the hood saw that I had no fluids in my vehicle. How I have been able to drive is by God's grace. He advised me not to drive any further. He changed my oil and replaced my filters, put fluids in my vehicle (but they kept running back out - not a good sign) and then asked if I knew who Job was in the Bible. Ha ha. I came up with a plan and decided to park the van at the mall which was around the corner and ride the Link bus home to Leavenworth (25 miles away).
Throughout all of this the kids did great. The loved the adventure of riding the buses around town and back home. By the end of it I was able to stay composed and not totally lose it. I am "out of the box" and on my knees trusting in God. His peace still surrounds me and for that I am thankful.
Last night, Todd and Dan towed our van home. Eventually he will get it fixed. Thank goodness for Tim's old truck and fortunately we can walk to everything we need.