The Dark Cloud

There is a dark cloud hanging over our house.  It has been there for over a month, let's be honest, two months.  This cloud has impacted everyone on multiple levels....depression, frustration, bickering, crying, despair...you name it. We've dealt with it.  I think because we are starting to see some rays of light that I am finally ready to talk about it and possibly explain why my blog has set empty for so long.  There is always that question of how much one should share of their private lives.  How much is beneficial to write about.  How much is harmful.  Maybe I am opening up because, for me, it is therapeutic.

This year we made the decision to put our high school son into the public school system.  Not for an education, because to be honest he isn't being challenged at all academically.  Case in point,  how is it beneficial for the teacher to give the students their test the day before  the test is to be taken, have them google search the answers, give them the correct answers, tell them to memorize the test, and then have them take the exact same test the next day.  Yes, this happens regularly in science class.  All I hear is that the teachers give the students thirty minutes of work in a ninety minute class.  I digress...that is not my point...just getting a chip off my shoulder.  Back to the topic...my son was sent to the public school to learn how to deal with working in a group, how to follow other's expectations, or lack of them, how to deal with the "difficult people" in this world, etc.  He appeared to be doing fine, although very bored.  A month into school, however, we began to experience problems with our son.  Lack of energy, defiance, loss of appetite were some of the major things we began to battle.  My husband and I were dealing with each issue..  Correcting, disciplining, praying for answers.   I began to see my healthy, active son shrink, literally.  

One week the stomach flu hit the house and it seemed that our son got it too as he was constantly running to the bathroom.  I kept him home from school, but while everyone else got better after twenty four hours, he didn't.  Something else was wrong.   We talked.  The band concert was coming up and every time we talked about it I noticed his anxiety build.  That must be the culprit.  He is afraid of performing in public.  He has always hated getting up in front of people.  He is used to playing the drums in front of others, but he has been asked to play the xylophone, an instrument he is not fond of and still not comfortable with.  Aha...I think I found the answer to all of the problems we have been experiencing.  I encouraged him..prayed for him.  The concert came.  He played well.  That is an understatement...he played very well.  I cried he was so good.  Okay, he missed I few bars when he played the xylophone.  Nobody knew, but him and his teacher.

  Concert over.  Life should get back to normal, but it didn't.  Things got worse.  My husband and I were perplexed more than ever.  Finally, my husband hit the nail on the head.  Our son has struggled with constipation off and on.  It has been five years since his last bout and we thought that issue was behind us, but my husband point blank asked our son when he had last gone to the bathroom at which point our son crumbled and admitted it had been over a month....almost two months!   Bingo!  

Doctors visits, x-rays, a cocktail of medications, days out of school, three weeks of trying to clear out his system, contemplating hospitalization, finally starting to see the light is where I am today, this minute, praying that he might just be over the hill.   Yesterday, my son told me that for the first time he is starting to experience an emptiness in his stomach and might actually feel a little hungry.  Praise The Lord!  The worst isn't over.  Tomorrow we start a twenty four hour colon cleanse.  I expect it to be a miserable day for all of us, especially my son.  Hopefully, when the day is over he will feel a sense of relief that he hasn't felt in months.

I am eager to hear him say he's hungry.  I am eager to see him bound down the stairs, to be on top of his chores, and enjoying school.  I am eager to see him put on weight.  He has lost over 20 pounds, weighing in at the doctors office yesterday at 105.  His pants are falling off of him.  I am eager for this dark cloud to be lifted away. 

Update:  I wrote this yesterday morning while sitting in our co-ops study hall.  I am happy to report that tonight my son's system has been cleaned out.  He is hungry!  His energy is up!  He is talkative and interacting with everyone around him.  Praise the Lord!  I think we all might actually enjoy this Thanksgiving break.  I will end with a little clip my son and I watched to get ready for the big colon cleanse.